Episode 6: Rooting into Right-Relationship in Uncertain Times with James-Olivia Chu Hillman
“I have my relationship with you. You have your relationship with me. There are multiple relationships here. And I’m holding mine and your holding yours. So even when I end the relationship, you’ve got your relationship with me still. That’s going on, that’s none of my business unless you chose to make it my business. And I still have my relationship with you and my relationship with you might be an avoidant one…and there’s still a relationship that exists in me because you still exist to me.”
-James Olivia Chu Hillman, The Everything Belongs Podcast
Today on the Everything Belongs podcast, we are in conversation with James-Olivia Chu Hillman. James-Olivia is a Relational Life & Leadership Coach and a mediator, facilitator, and enthusiastic advocate of necessary, uncomfortable, and life-changing conversations. They work with people who want more joyful connection and less suffering in their relationships with themselves, the people they love and the world. James-Olivia has a passion for asking questions that make us squirm a bit and point us back to who we are and what we care about most. In this flowy and deep conversation, Madison and James-Olivia discuss the idea that “in right-relationship there is room for you” from numerous perspectives, including systemic oppression, family systems, love relationships and our overall sense of belonging. They dive down the rabbit hole on the hierarchies of worthiness we have created in society and, in particular, the coaching and marketing industry. Madison and James-Olivia also take on the question: “How do we use our differences to relate to each other instead of punish and destroy each other?” Listen to this expansive episode here…
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In this episode we have a conversation about:
How contempt actually looks more like believing we are either above or below other people, rather than that we dislike or hate them
What is the lie of superiority?
James-Olivia explores how "cutting people off" as a boundary practice doesn't actually end the relationship
The privilege of being told and shown that you belong and are worthy, plus a nuanced discussion of what to consider when being in relationship with the current system
James-Olivia and Madison talk us through breaking unspoken but accepted "rules" and how to be disobedient without being in opposition
