The choice to show up and live beyond self-betrayal.
What do a chicken wing, a necklace, a dance party and a racist joke have in common? For me, they all represent ways I’ve betrayed my truth in order to belong.
I ate the chicken wings when I was a vegetarian because I didn’t want to deal with a difference of beliefs.
I wore the necklace I hated to make my boyfriend happy, even though it was cringeworthy.
I chose NOT to dance, to tone myself down, to be more modest just in case I made anyone uncomfortable by being too “full out” or by dancing “too sexy.”
I have even, regretfully, bit my tongue and said nothing when racist jokes were said in my presence.
This doesn’t even scratch the surface of the ways I’ve edited myself both online and in person to be more palatable.
I’m not proud of the way I said nothing when something needed to be said, the way I let injustice happen because I didn’t want to ruffle feathers and forsake my belonging, the way I downplayed the goodness in my life because I didn’t want to be braggy.
In all this, I believed I wasn’t allowed to be my full self… and I blamed those around me for it.
But the truth is, it’s a choice we make to cut off pieces of ourselves to make others feel safe and cozy.
I didn’t want to deal with the consequences of my fullness. I wasn’t ready to be seen because I didn’t want to face potential rejection. I didn’t want to have courageous conversations. I didn’t want to step into the spotlight where I might (and probably would) face criticism.
It is a choice to play small.
When you choose to play small, you are not just squashing your magic, you’re perpetuating the FALSE notion that it is your responsibility to manage the emotions and experience of others. You’re choosing their comfort over your freedom. You’re buying into the belief that your whole self is not welcome, lovable or worthy of belonging.
And, Love, I don’t know about you but I’m so done with those narratives.
If you want to become the hero of your own story, you’ve got to step up and decide all of you is welcome to the party.
>> Done are the days of dimming your light to make others feel safe.
>> Done are the days of watering down your potency because some people prefer a different flavor.
>> Done are the days of hiding your magic, your essence, your true feelings and swallowing your words.
All of you is welcome.
All of you is needed.
All of you is worthy.
So how do you get from playing small to stepping out? >> You make one small commitment to honor yourself.
This might look like:
Trusting what you know in your gut instead of questioning yourself.
Actively letting go of managing the emotions of others.
Saying no when you mean no.
Owning when things are going great instead of watering down your magic.
It’s time to trust your belonging, trust your inner wisdom + start living publicly what you deeply know (Whether that means finally starting that business, moving across the country or “coming out” of the spiritual closet).
This is wholeness.
What is the ONE THING you’re going to do this week to show up and be seen as the real you?
xx,
-Madison
P.S. I used to feel a false safety in my silence. But as my mentor L’Erin Alta said to me, “Don’t mistake comfort for safety.” So today, make one small commitment to honor yourself and step out in your truth…
For you…
Call Your Energy Back.
Use this (free) 3-step journal practice and hypnotic meditation to get into a daily routine of embodying your wholeness and living with the power that comes when you belong to yourself.
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