4 Tips to living from the heart with greater emotional maturity (What is heart-centered living?)
How to be heart-centered with emotional maturity—
Have you ever been told you’re “too sensitive?”
If you identify as female, you’ve probably been told at least once that you are too sensitive, just need to calm down or to stop taking everything so personally.
I sure have, and it doesn’t feel good.
It feels dismissive, minimizing and sometimes even abusive to have your experience invalidated.
Which is why my PDF “Becoming Offended” receives such laughter, because it’s revealing the truth, while at the same time it hits the wounds of our emotions being perpetually “too much” for people.
The truth is, living a completely unoffendable life is not how we are wired. Our emotions,like our feelings of vulnerability, humiliation, and belonging-- which all play a part in being offended- have served us as a species for millennia. They not only help us relate to others, but to ourselves, the divine, and the earth.
Our emotions are a vital part of our human experience.
As Brene Brown stated in her new Netflix special, we are WIRED to care what others think for survival. We are social and emotional beings. We will get our feelings hurt, feel rejected, and sometimes being offended is a sign change needs to happen!
So, how do we balance the space between being wired for emotional sensitivity and not feeling overly-offended every single day of our lives?
We learn emotional maturity.
Instead of living with emotional maturity, what I see happening is women bouncing between two extremes:
1- Living offended and as though it’s happening to you: My emotions are someone else’s problem. I feel powerless and blame others.
2- Living from an armor of protection where nothing seems to bother us: I act strong and powerful while I internalize shame. I avoid difficult feelings and don’t let others see me as weak.
The good news is that there is freedom from living at the extremes.
Emotional Maturity frees you to:
Know when you/your boundaries/your feelings are being violated, disrespected or not honored.
Identify your emotions as your own, see them as valid, and feel them fully.
Set boundaries that enable you to feel whole, safe and thrive in relationships.
If we live our whole lives allowing others to dictate our emotions, we will be strung back and forth like the wind. If we pretend our emotions are not valid and don’t set boundaries, we take part in our own violation. And if we live our whole life with walls instead of boundaries, we can’t let anyone in.
Now you might be asking: How do I cultivate this emotional maturity that enables me to feel fully, know when I’m being violated and when to set boundaries?
I’ve got 4 quick tips for you:
SLOW DOWN
Slow down and make space to be with a situation. Allowing space activates your curiosity and discernment (inner listening).
OWN + FEEL YOUR FEELINGS
Take time to really breathe into your feelings, feeling them fully.
IDENTIFY WHAT ISN’T WORKING FOR YOU
Be honest about when you feel offended, violated, or disrespected. Use this as information to make changes.
LET GO OF RUMINATING AND TAKE SOVEREIGN ACTION
No longer let these things passively happen to you. Set boundaries, have courageous conversations, and remove yourself from those who refuse to really see you.
Your sensitivity is a gift and when channeled with emotional maturity, alongside the ability to set sovereign boundaries, it will become your superpower.
Goodness is coming for you.
xx,
-Madison
#iammyownresponsibility
For You…
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