3 Simple ways to end the drama and shift to love
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I love me some juicy drama.
I'm a creative type, so I tend to create dramas and stories in my head with elegance. They are elaborate, toxic, and they make me feel like sh*t. Yet, I still catch myself making up stories about why I'm not worthy, loved, or wanted. I'm sure I'm not alone.
How familiar are these situations to you?
She is super distracted and short at work… Is she mad at me?!
He forgets to do the dishes… I’m not important to him.
My friends haven’t called in a week… I’m probably annoying them with my problems.
The guy didn’t reply… I’m unworthy and will probably be single forever.
Well that escalated quickly, don’t you think? We love to tell ourselves stories about other people’s motives, how their actions are a reflection of our worth, and when they don’t meet our expectations, we take it way too personally.
All of our offense, our internalizing, our grudge holding, all of the stories are rooted in fear:
Fear of being alone.
Fear of being disliked.
Fear of not being enough.
Fear someone else could do it better.
Fear, fear, and more fear.
The truth:
People are generally more concerned with themselves than they are with you. When she looks at you wrong, when someone snaps at you, when you’re tempted to create a story about why something happened, STOP. Stop and shift from fear to love. Don’t allow your mind to create fear-based dramas.
Here are 3 simple ways to end the drama and shift from fear to love
(AKA from drama to sanity):
1 - Drop the assumptions + don’t take everything personally.
Trust me, it’s not personal. Remember other people’s actions are more about them than you. You don’t know why they are responding how they are. Let go of the need to internalize it, fix it, or take responsibility for other people. Choose to have a heart of non-offense, you never know what they are going through.
2 - Remind yourself that you are loved, whole, and worthy as you are.
No need for drama, offense, and panic when you feel stable in yourself. Life is so much more freeing this way! If you need a little help, repeat the mantra: I am safe to be myself. And screw the rest…. Just kidding... (Heck, do whatever it takes!)
3 - Review the scripts you already have playing.
It’s a good time to reflect and see why you are jumping to conclusions. The stories you write say a lot more about you than others, and you're probably looking for ways to affirm the fear-based beliefs you already hold. What do you believe to be true about yourself and the world?
Let yourself move through the fear to the love.
xx,
-Madison