The one thing my divorce taught me about ease...
Earlier this week, I was sharing with a friend about my recent divorce and uncoupling ceremony. I shared how genuinely easy the process has been, to which she replied:
“Easy? Are you sure it was easy… or was it just peaceful?”
Her questioning of my experience made me pause before I answered. Was it really easy?
Yes, and...
It’s never pain free to make these big life changes.
Change can be lonely milestone in the sense that some are not always marked with celebration and gifts.
To take action in an unconventional and often frowned upon path can be misunderstood. You will grieve the loss of your old life, your old self, your old jobs/partners/homes/churches/the comfort of what you knew. This happens while you face projections from others that will come. Other people’s pain and biases can seep out in accidental, judgment-filled statements. Fielding their reactions takes strength and self-knowledge.
So no. It’s not “easy” to take outward action that goes against the grain of culture.
But it’s also not “easy” to betray your soul to conform to said culture.
When life is pulling you down the stream of your truth, the easiest and most honest thing you can do is stop resisting.
Because truly, the choice of inaction in the midst of a flowing stream is still an action.
“Whatever the dangers of the action we take, the dangers of inaction are far, far greater.”
There are 2 ways we can be in inaction, which leads to a sense of dis-ease inside:
1- Stubbornly
Standing in resistance to nature’s way means you resist what you know, resist your growth, resist taking responsibility. You actually build muscle in the wrong direction, focusing on all the things that keep you from your truth, becoming hardened to your soul speaking.
This kind of inaction takes work to sustain, will wear you out, and leads to all sorts of problems (For me it led to physical illness).
2- Passively.
Cluelessly and carelessly letting the stream of life guide you with no awareness of how you bump up against others. This path guides you into thorns, choppy water and you eventually feel uninspired and stuck. You lull yourself unconscious to not hear the desires of your heart and call it “going with the flow.”
This lack of responsibility brings muscle atrophy, causing you to forget how capable and strong you are. (For me, it led to not trusting myself enough to act on my inner knowings).
Neither course of in-action really sounds “easy” to me.
My love, when your Soul is calling you home, there is the potential for heartbreak and big lessons. You’ll have to steer the ship, grow resilient and do uncomfortable things.
But I promise you, when it comes to matters of the heart, when it comes to who you’re here to be, consciously listening and actively flowing with the stream is the only way of true ease.
Yes…
You’ll have to pay attention.
You’ll have to write new stories and reprogram your mind.
You’ll be called to higher integrity.
You’ll have to make conscious choices.
You’ll have to let go of the approval of others.
You’ll have to take responsibility.
And I promise you, if you choose to live the way of Soul, it can be as easy as you let it be.
So my answer to my friend,
Yes. It was peaceful.
Yes. There was grief.
And yes, it was so filled with ease.
It was the easy choice because I knew what I knew and I listened.
I did what I wanted and it broke my heart wide open in so many ways. I hope it never closes.
Awakening, opening and grieving all the lives not meant for me.
xx,
-Madison
P.S. If you’re going through a transition, grieving, or waking up to a new version of yourself, I want to share with you 3 blog posts that might be supportive:
And of course, if you’re going through any initiation of sorts, supporting you through is what I do best. Check out my coaching offerings and programs to learn more about working with me.