You actually DO know
You know that age-old joke about the indecisive woman who can’t decide where she wants to go for dinner?
Typically it goes like this: The man says, “where do you want to go for dinner, love?” The woman replies, “I don’t care, you pick!”
So he proceeds to suggest restaurant after restaurant, only to be met with, “I don’t want pizza... I don’t want Chinese... I don’t want burgers... I don’t know what I want, but not those things!”
This joke was told so many times growing up that I started to just believe women were indecisive by nature, that we didn’t know what we wanted, that we didn’t know what we desired and that we needed someone outside of us to help us know what was best for us.
And funny enough, many of my clients first submit coaching applications that say things like:
I’m lost.
I’m stuck.
I don’t know what I want, but it's not this.
I can’t hear myself.
I’m not sure what I need.
I’m confused.
I need clarity.
I’m afraid to follow my heart.
I am in over my head with this business.
I’m not smart enough.
I don’t know enough.
I’m unsure.
I don’t want to upset ________.
What strikes me is that 99% of the time within the very first coaching call, we discover that in fact, they do know what they desire. It’s just buried under the old programming, the fears of what others think and the stories of their worth.
It’s buried under the idea that someone or something outside of them knows what’s best for them and that a magical savior (be it a romantic partner, another business course, a job, a baby, or financial “success”) will swoop in and meet their deepest desires and needs.
The truth is: in order to live in your power and Authentic Magic, you’ve got to take 100% personal responsibility for:
Tapping into your true desires
Knowing what you need
Going after those desires + meeting those needs yourself
Surrounding yourself intentionally with safe people who support you in the process of knowing and listening first and foremost to you.
Cuz your needs and your desires are your responsibility. Not to say we don’t need others to help us along our journey and mirror our truth to us. We do! But no one outside of you is coming to give you the life of your dreams.
You’ve got to claim it for yourself.
For me, this came very, very slowly.
For years I’d given my power away to pastors, teachers and mentors who spoon-fed their version of the truth to me. I wavered and got insecure if someone disagreed with my politics or my spiritual beliefs. I overextended myself chasing success, said YES when I wanted to say NO and burned myself out because I wasn’t listening to my truest desires or needs. I became resentful and lonely in my relationships because other people couldn’t read my mind or meet my needs without my asking.
But I learned, albeit slowly.
It’s been a 5 year journey to turn on my preferences and desires. With the help of a beautiful and supportive coach, I’ve learned boundaries and communication skills. I’ve learned to tune IN instead of OUT. I’ve let go of dogma and the way success “should” look and I am finally showing up in a life that feels authentic to me.
Now...
My business is booming.
My relationships are thriving.
My mental, physical and emotional health are better than ever.
I know what I believe and I know what I stand for.
I am fully myself, every single day no matter who I am around.
This is not because I followed a magic formula some guru gave me… (nope, my savior never came).
Instead I became my own savior by tuning in and getting clear on what my Soul and highest guidance was really saying.
It wasn’t overnight, but listening to and honoring the small nudges in my heart changed everything.
No matter what anyone outside of you says is best, you’ve got to tune in to your authentic truth, discover your authentic magic and claim life on your terms.
After all, you are the highest authority on you.
So, if you want to step into a life of your Authentic Magic, if you want to live in your power and speak your truth… you’ve got to know what your truth really is.
Every day for the next week, ask yourself these 3 simple questions each morning:
If I was really honest, how do I feel today?
What do I need today?
What can I do to meet my needs and feel how I want to feel today? (Focus on what you can do, not what is out of your control)
Let your answers come easy, naturally and simply. This does not need to be grand or a huge a-ha moment. It only needs to be honest.
Speak your authentic truth, first to yourself. Cuz you do know. I’m sure of it.
In humanity,
xx,
-Madison