Internal Boundaries– the 10 kinds of folks I (lovingly) no longer allow in my inner circle
I fuck€d around in friendship and found out.
Now that I’m in my 30’s I’ve wised up about who I allow into my inner circle. Although setting boundaries is nothing new to me, over the years I've had to grow in discernment about inner boundaries. Which includes my standards, and deeply knowing what humans are a match for my nervous system and what behaviors allow me to feel safe to feel fully expressed.
I was spending so much time tolerating mix-matched compatibility in friendship and setting boundaries to keep out the "bad" stuff that I wasn't building capacity to guard the goodness in my life.
In the last 2 years, my inner circle has gotten smaller and smaller, and my wellbeing, vitality and joy has grown tenfold. Mostly because I got clear on the goodness I wanted to cultivate, and the bullshit I was finally ready to no longer tolerate.
I thought I'd let you in on some of my inner circle standards, in case you're in a similar place, learning to Live Your Liberation-- even if it means a smaller circle. ;)
These are the folks I lovingly no longer allow in my inner circle:
1- folks who tell you what *other people* think of you. These people are using someone else’s words to communicate what they think of you.
2- folks who take your relational capacity and boundaries personally. When you communicate what you have to give and another person makes it about them, that is valuable data.
3- folks who give unsolicited feedback. Unsolicited feedback is criticism, period. This includes "messages from spirit" or "intuitive words" you didn’t consent to hearing. No thanks.
4- folks who see you as a commodity, competition, or a means to social climb. Relationships that have root systems of jealousy, competition and status baked-in also have unspoken power dynamics running on the background.
5- folks without the capacity for nuance. Life is complex. People are complex. We are never two dimensional. Those without the capacity for nuance may flatten you, themselves and others for the sake of mental simplicity.
6- folks who are kind, but don’t stick up for injustice, abuse or bullying when they see it. (This includes racism, homophobia, ableism, fat phobia, bullying those without social charisma, bullying those with "too much" social charisma. Etc). Grace always for those fumbling to find their voice in these circumstances, and I distance myself from those unable to regard the dignity in all humans.
7- folks who are rude to those in the service industry, or see themselves above those in the service industry. Self explanatory.
8- folks who make every struggle you share about some unhealed trauma. Yes, we all have trauma, but sometimes being a person is just challenging here and now.
9- folks who believe in mine, their own or anyone else’s powerlessness. We are innately powerful, and although it’s fine to forget, operating from this place full time is a fast-track to misery. I want my inner circle to remind me of my power and call me to take responsibility for my life.
10- folks who deny reality and/or lie. Acknowledging reality is the most efficient way to liberation. Denial is a great way to stay sick.
Elevating your inner circle is not about seeing ourselves as above or better than anyone else. It’s about knowing what kinds of behaviors create relational safety, and allow you to be most yourself— fully expressed and free in your life.
This is how we become the Guardian Of The Good in our lives.
This is how you learn to Live Your Liberation.
Protect your inner sanctuary.
Be the guardian the good.
Please share your thoughts about this, and tell me what it brings up for you right here on instagram. :)
Sending you love as you elevate your wellbeing by tending to the goodness in your life.
Goodness is coming for you,
xo, Madison
FOR YOU
Call Your Energy Back
Use this (free) 3-step journal practice and hypnotic meditation to get into a daily routine of embodying your wholeness and living with the power that comes when you belong to yourself.
