I was definitely not Queer.  Coming out to my husband sounded more like “um, I think I’m attracted to a woman and I don't know what it means...”  I couldn’t say “I’m queer” out loud for almost a year.

A mask is nothing more than a persona, or a way of being in the world that hides what’s underneath. In this case, what's underneath is our tender, luminous, expansive authentic self. There are many reasons we become disconnected from our Authentic Self, or our true identity and some key ways we can begin to take it off.

Maybe asking if we deserve the hardships we have, or the suffering we are experiencing is missing the point of them altogether. Maybe suffering just is and life just happens– and the stories we tell either amplify our suffering, or not. Because my friend, you don’t DESERVE to suffer– yet you will.

I don’t know about you but I could use some ease and joy in my life at the moment– and from what I’m hearing from each of you as you respond to my newsletters is that you could too. So, here are the 10 things to STOP doing if you want to feel more JOY…

It’s time to let go of trying to understand, explain, wrap your head around and guard against that which has caused you so much grief, pain and heartache. There comes a time (and now is as good as any) where the best choice is to turn your gaze towards love– To instead offer your attention to something generative and good.

In the last year or so, I’ve really wanted to uncomplicate my life.  Keeping it simple and focusing on well-being has become the name of my game. Especially because I spent so much energy in the last decade healing, improving, learning, growing.. I forgot to let life be simple, and good - including my wellbeing. So here are the 15 simple habits I do each week for my health that I feel contribute to a life of wellbeing, and also help me stay anchored, grounded and regulated as a neurodivergent business owner.

Have you ever undergone such a radical shift in perception that the world as you once knew it felt far, far away Perhaps dear friends or loved ones have begun to feel like strangers? Or the routines, jobs, and roles you played that once cradled you in safety now feel stale, confining, and entrapping? 

Many of my clients have named deeply relating to my experience with neurodivergence, and have asked how exactly I cater my life, relationships and business to the unique needs of my system! So today, I’m going to share all my favorite ways I radically own and meet my own needs in life, biz and relationships, some tools I use to stay organized, grounded and regulated, as well as some systems that allow me to save energy on what depletes me, focus on what I love and drop WAY less balls in life.

Take time to invest in yourself emotionally, spiritually and mentally today with Madison’s You Matter Meditation, which you will find in transcript and audio form. This is a simple meditation to remember that YOU MATTER. Okay, let’s begin. 

Going first has been a big theme in my life, and in the lives of many of my dear clients– be it going first to therapy, being the first to get divorced, the first to come out, the first to leave the religion of your childhood, the first to ask questions or the first to have the courage to name the truth.  Let’s be honest, going first is fucking hard. The below poem is about just that– losing your magic, but being willing to go first in finding it. 

In my 20’s I found myself in a string of relationships rife with narcissism. At the time, the online space wasn’t nearly as narcissism-obsessed, so the language just wasn’t there. I didn’t know how to name or share my experience with others clearly. What I knew then was this: I didn’t trust myself…. At all. I was terrified something was wrong with me, and constantly working to “fix” myself….

Over the years I’ve been keeping track of the most pesky beliefs, the most detrimental habits that indicate burnout and a dampened spirit are on the horizon, as well as what to immediately STOP doing to shift the energy.  Today I’m going to name them loud and clear for you! I offer you, after 9 years of investigating, and hundreds of clients, these are what I observe to be the 5 horseman of potent creativity, joy and leadership–

Have you ever diluted your truth to appease another person? I got so caught up trying to be “unproblematic” on the internet that I about dismantled the very life that lights me up. I once called this kind of diminishment “leadership.” I called this being thoughtful and tactful. But diminishing yourself and hiding your light is not woke. It’s a joke...

If you tend to overcomplicate your health, your business, your relationships and your healing… this is for you. This is likely because you’re incredibly intelligent. Hell yea! The bummer is that intelligence doesn’t always translate to ease.  Those of us who love learning, growing and enjoy living in the deep end of life often have two things in common: 1-  a brilliant, curious mind and 2- a tendency to overcomplicate and overthink things, which leads to a flooded system and  overwhelm.  Is this you?

I share a bit about my experience falling into and leaving Evangelical fundamentalism, the overlaps of high control groups and fundamentalism with narcissistic abuse, my predictions about the wellness space and the collapse of “wellness gurus” into the alt-right, and near the end, what I wish people knew about Jesus.

There is freedom in responsibility. In fact, I don’t think we can experience true liberation without taking responsibility. They go hand in hand. The issue is we either take too much responsibility (get into other peoples business) or too little (abdicate responsibility for what’s ours).

I could have created a much bigger business more quickly, had I not had so many people-pleasing and over-giving tendencies early on.

I fuck€d around in friendship and found out. Now that I’m in my 30’s I’ve wised up about who I allow into my inner circle. Although setting boundaries is nothing new to me, over the years I've had to grow in discernment about inner boundaries.

In part 1, I share my own story of how I designed a life of support, having gone from exiled, unsupported and isolated to a robust web of support.

In part 2, my my aim is to walk you through how to cultivate the foundations of weaving a web of support, including what we need to un-learn, skills and competencies we need to gain, relational standards we can choose to uphold, the definition of sovereignty as it relates to support and identifying your values and moving from your desires.

In part 3, I’ll be sharing about how to identify where you need support, when to invest in professional support such as a coach, therapist or guide, what to look for in you local and online communities and what it really takes to build depth relationships.

What kind of support are you really needing as a leader, business owner, service-based entrepreneur and CEO? I don’t know about you, but I’ve joined programs, taken courses (so many courses) and hired coaches hoping I’d finally gain that elusive “thing” that would lead me to success, peace, profit and secure my spot in the industry… Truthfully, I wasn’t always sure what I really wanted or needed when I forked over those thousands of $$

I used to self-define as an empath, Highly Sensitive Person, and a chronic people-pleaser. Of course, these are now popular terms, but when I say my lack of boundaries was a chronic problem… I mean it. And if this week, your energetic/emotional/social media boundaries need a boost, you’re not alone {Free Download}

I was holding back tears. Apathy, too, is a sensation you know. Sensations like rage and grief are sometimes so big and vast, apathy comes in to protect us.

Reconciling my own limitations while holding space for a group of leaders whose political opinions started to fray out became one of the most testing experiences of my leadership to date…